good sh*t : parenting, French parenting, attachment theory, Jon Ronson on Ariel Leve, One Story blog, gaslighting, Joyce Carol Oates, scars, memoirs…
By Lara Trace (who loved thinking about parents and parenting)
This is my excuse for a post this week. I’m on the road most of the month… read ’em and leave me a nice comment on what great stuff you are reading or dwelling on… merci beaucoup… xoxox
Why the French parents are the best and we (Americans) suck at it: http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/06/french-parenting-government.html
The French have lots of good going on over there…
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Ariel Leve: ‘I was the parent and my mother was the child’
The journalist grew up on New York’s Upper East Side with her mother, a celebrated poet who partied with Andy Warhol and Saul Bellow. Now she’s lifting the lid on a deeply unhappy childhood (WOW WOW WOW to that Jon Ronson)
It drives people nuts. But when you’ve been on the receiving end of gaslighting, a compulsion for accuracy can be a survival mechanism. Before you read my book, had you heard the term ‘gaslighting’?” I had: gaslighting means, “To manipulate someone by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.”
Ronson writes:
Leve says that even while writing the book, she wasn’t sure she’d actually publish it. I’m glad she did, because it is riveting and evokes with clarity the emotional turmoil of being subjected to the constant needs of a narcissistic parent. I’m sure it will help other people in similar circumstances. But then there is her mother, who is still alive….
“I’m not panicking you, am I?” I ask. “When you leave the restaurant, are you going to dwell on this part of the interview?”
“I’m a dweller,” she says. (She had therapy to rewire her brain. It is called EMDR… wow!)
“Oh dear,” I say. READ NOW
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Attachment Theory and Motherhood?
The poet Philip Larkin was not the first or the last to notice that parents, “they fuck you up.”
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Gaslighting is something to think about : Violence Hurts
20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths Use to Silence You HERE
Even more on gaslighting: How can I make my parents’ stop abusing me? How can I just make the abuse stop?
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An investigative journalist gets pigeonholed in memoir, and memoir is not the whole truth.
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On Reconciliation with an Alcoholic Parent
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Family Comes First or does it?
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“How does someone accidentally find their biological mother online?” READ THIS CONFESSION
(I was thinking Stockholm Syndrome when I read about her guilt trip…)
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The best writing advice @JoyceCarolOates ever received: “One breath at a time.” https://t.co/qUVc5TAuXl
— One Story (@onestorymag) June 14, 2016
latest @onestorymag by @JoyceCarolOates kept me glued to my chair, which thankfully had no shears hidden beneath the cushion. But I checked.
— James Winter (@Jp3Winter) July 2, 2016
Yup, it’s that Joyce Carol Oates… who does great tweets!
When is a book not a (mere) book? When it is a memoir / blunderbuss.
— Joyce Carol Oates (@JoyceCarolOates) July 2, 2016
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Sisters torn apart by 60s Scoop Reunited HERE
My memoir excerpt is here
Lara Trace Hentz 
Yes the French have good stuff going on there with parenting also with the way they eat – plenty of lovely food but in moderation.xx
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Oui, Von. I am learning more about them daily and relearning francais. (I’d studied French many years.) xox
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My heart breaks: Tragedy in the French Riviera: At least 84 people are dead after a truck drove into a crowd in Nice, a city on France’s Mediterranean coast, during Bastille Day celebrations on Thursday night. French President Francois Hollande called the attack a “terrorist act” and vowed to increase military strikes against ISIS in Iraq and Syria. The alleged perpetrator, a 31-year-old French-Tunisian man, also died during the attack.
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Wow, I’m a counselor and I’ve never even heard of gaslighting. It’s an interesting concept. I’ll have to read more.
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Matt, to be honest I had heard of it maybe last year and now it’s grabbing headlines. You let me know more if you find out more! ❤
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[…] Gaslighter in Chief? I wanted to share an earlier post about gaslighting that was very enlightening. And it’s driving journalists crazy! HERE […]
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