Let’s Make 2017 the Year of Being Kind | How to Write in the Age of Trump | #NotNormal | Mitakuye Oyasin

“Whoa.” …only 25 percent of Americans believe we’re living in a kind society, according to a poll by Kindness […]

Source: Let’s Make 2017 the Year of Being Kind

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Overnight, America — its past, present, and future — had become unreal….

For me, the symptom of that experience is a constant traumatic alertness, a terrible,  exhausting need to pay attention to everything and everybody and not succumb to the temptation of comforting interpretation.   Trauma makes everything abnormal, but the upside is that living with and in a mind where nothing appears normal or stable is the best antidote to normalization.screen_shot_2017-01-18_at_6-22-45_pm

There is no choice, in other words, other than owning a split mind that would probe and test America, all of its parts, all of its lies, all of us. “Reality” has finally earned its quotation marks. This is a consequence of an unimaginable catastrophe, to be sure, but a good writer should never let a good catastrophe go to waste. The necessary thing to do is to transform shock into a high alertness that prevents anything from being taken for granted — to confront fear and to love the way it makes everything appear strange.

READ: Stop Making Sense, or How to Write in the Age of Trump | Village Voice

 

By LT

Back in December I lost Oglala relative Ellowyn Locke, age 68.  Lost in the way that I can’t go visit her in Porcupine on the Pine Ridge reservation in South Dakota or call her on the phone.  I can only visit her in dreams.  I can reread her letters.  Her artist brother Merle told me I can bring a red rose to her grave then I will feel better.

I am not doing well at all, grieving the most important friend I ever had.

Yes, I have memories, her teaching me, teasing me, photos and all the stories. I also have many gifts she made me.  My ONE SMALL SACRIFICE book cover has the family beadwork Ellowyn sewed on the doll she gifted me.

Years ago, I bought a hand bag that had Hopi dancers on a bright turquoise fabric to give to Ellowyn.  I made the mistake of taking the purse when we went to visit Sara Thunder Hawk.  Of course Sara really admired the purse and I knew I should give it to her, but I already planned to give to Ellowyn. I felt so horrible I couldn’t give it to Sara.  I had brought gifts for Sara but I knew that purse was what she wanted.  I prayed and prayed Sara would forgive me!  That was my learning experience.  Imagine the most precious thing you own – like a ring.  Could you give it up?  If a Lakota elder likes it, you give it to them.  That is what we do… Material objects are never as important as giving.  I could never refuse a gift either, like when Ellowyn gave me moccasins, even though they were too big.  It would hurt her deeply if I refused them.  I learned to bring a load of gifts every time I went to see my relatives and my car would be full when I left to go back home.

In 2015, I couldn’t reach her by phone and panicked. Ellowyn had been taken to a rehab facility after breaking her ankle.  By 2016, she was the longest living dialysis patient on their rez – over 10 long years.  I have photos of her on dialysis in Wounded Knee from an earlier trip.  My relative had the will to live but her body was getting weak.  She said repeatedly she would accept a new kidney if the donor was living but that wasn’t likely to happen.  That call never came.

On the phone in 2016, I told her I was not ready for her to die. That was selfish of me, I know.  I felt bad when I said it.  Like a big sister, she talked to me about all the fun we had… all the years and stories.. so she comforted me!

Here’s a story I wrote about her life in 2007… here

I call Ellowyn Strong Walking Woman, Winyan Washaka Mani.  She is very strong and cares deeply for her family, her relatives and her tribe.

Ellowyn taught me the most important thing I know, which is Mitakuye Oyasin, which translates to we are all related, and relatives.

Pilamaye, thank you for letting me speak about family. I thank my relative Ellowyn for naming me and for making me her relative.

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8 thoughts on “Let’s Make 2017 the Year of Being Kind | How to Write in the Age of Trump | #NotNormal | Mitakuye Oyasin

  1. Hugs Lara. I lost one of my dearest friends a year ago this this Spring, someone I considered a true Soul Sister. We lived 1500 miles apart but she was the person I trusted most in the world, a truly non judgmental living soul, although she had her own struggles. When she passed my heart grieved but I also felt closer to her. We both have a strong intuition about afterlufe and I now feel her closer to me than when she lived in a body. And if I hush my thoughts and still my heart, I can hear her voice. I am hugging you in comfort and thank you for reminding me of my friend Debbie today. I miss her so much. 🌹🌹

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The greatest gift we can give each other is the memory of each other. Everything else is just “stuff.” How wonderful that the gift she gave you is the lightest one to bear, and casts its warmth on the coldest of days, the ones in which you forget she is always beside you…

    Liked by 1 person

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