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Losing a brother

By Lara Trace Hentz

My brother Danny Bland passed yesterday on January 12.

He and I had a good visit in September 2015. Had a good talk. He had lung cancer, bad cancer. It spread.

[Thurman Daniel Bland b.2-19-1963 – d. 1-12-2016]

My niece Amanda phoned me yesterday. She told me the news. She is expecting her second child in March.

She said Danny fought hard. But the cancer won.

Here’s a photo of Danny and my dad Earl Bland.

danny and dad

For twenty+ years of being in reunion with my birth family, I am grateful for every minute I had with my dad and Danny.

an earlier post:  Earl Bland

Top Photo: Danny in Pana, Illinois

This is how I will remember him…

Danny and his granddaughter, Amanda's daughter,
Danny and his granddaughter, Amanda’s daughter
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31 thoughts on “Losing a brother

  1. Maybe there should be another option for clicking ‘like’ when visiting a blog. That hardly seems the appropriate word to indicate a gesture of condolence, so I won’t say ‘like’ to your sad note. Please know that could we share your loss, we would. It is little consolation to recognize that your brother no longer has to suffer. Know that you are in our thoughts.

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  2. Sad. I’m sorry for your loss. My brother died of cardiac infarction suddenly when he was 49. We didn’t always have an easy relationship. But two days before he died we had a wonderful visit and talk. At the time we had no idea it was our last. It was a gift from him that will always be with me. So on some level I understand your pain. I’m not sure if it is harder to lose a loved one suddenly and unexpectedly or to watch them fade through disease. Either way it is a loss. And your last visit with him is something you will always treasure. Hugs.

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    1. Yes Karla, that is true. We spoke of his battle with lung cancer that spread to his brain. He said he would fight. But cancer won. I met him when I was 38 and he was 31. If adoption records had been opened for me at 18, or 21, I would have had him a lot longer. Thank you for your thoughts and I am sorry for your loss, too.

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  3. Laura/Trace, I am so sorry. This makes me sad. These deep losses are never easy. Thankfully, he is no longer suffering. May the time you had with him bring comfort. May he live on thru your memories and your beautiful stories. Love to you and your family.

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  4. Lara, my heart goes out to you. It’s tough when we reach this age when our loved ones begin to leave. It’s so wonderful that you got to know him. Here are a couple of poems that express my feelings at this tiem.
    LONELY TRIP

    A ship steals through the night
    Hits the rocks of time and sinks
    That ship takes a piece of our soul with it
    Haunts us with memories of what has been
    They throb with that promise
    Maybe someday we will meet again
    We tread the days, then buy our own ticket
    To rejoin those memories of the past
    Where we hope all souls will once again meet

    J. Glenn Evans

    MERRY-GO-ROUND

    Like petals of the rose
    They have fallen
    Winter has taken
    Parents aunts uncles
    Their passing
    Is like thorn pricks
    To my soul
    A merry-go-round
    First one and then another
    Goes flying off
    Moving world flings
    Out destiny
    First joy of youth
    Age of passing
    Then comes
    Our turn
    To fly away
    From the Merry-Go-Round

    J. Glenn Evans

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  5. Danny lived across from me at Park Glen. He was a kind and loving soul. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I’ll never forget his kind demeanor and how hard he fought. What amazed me most is I never heard him complain and he just kept smiling. Rest in peace my friend.

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