I enjoy Valentine’s Day less for the expensive gifts
can’t afford them, lame cards recycle, and chocolates I eat those everyday anyway, and more for the quiet reminder it gives me to reflect on the love in my life. The love I share with my husband, child, pets, parents, in-laws, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends…The list is endless – as it should be.
I’ll admit it…love has been a struggle for me this past year. In many aspects of my life. Perhaps the hardest has been my relationship with my adoptive parents and birth parents. Not the dads so much, but the moms. My husband calls it “Mama Drama.” Understatement of the century. My adoptive mom clings so tightly – I struggle to find space for my feelings and freedom to love others. My birthmom runs from love – she has been deeply hurt and is terrified to get too close to me or often even reciprocate my affection. And there I am, in the middle – pulling away from one because I need to come up for air…Please let me feel my own feelings and share my love with many…and being pulled toward the other by my own heartstrings…like a lost puppy begging for scraps. Please, love me. Why am I not enough?
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